We have a set of blinds in our kids room that has been broken for a while. I mean they still serve a function. They hold the poster that we put up in their window at night to block the light from coming in the morning.
As I've put the poster back up at night and pulled the blinds down to hold it there I've thought, why haven't we just gotten new blinds? Why are we using this makeshift method of light blocking when actual blinds do it much easier and more efficient.
I mean blinds aren't that hard to install.
I've been to Lowes multiple times, so that's not the reason.
Basic blinds don't cost that much.
The reason we probably haven't gotten them is because we have a system that works. You see it was just meant to be a temporary solution for the night that the blinds broke. It worked for the time being to meet a need. However, it's now more cumbersome than just replacing the blinds, but it works.
We can often do that in life and even in our marriages.
Maybe when you first got married you avoided challenging communication out of fear that it would damage your relationship. It worked at that time, but now you really need to talk about your challenges, but don't know how to.
Maybe during a challenging moment in your relationship you found that holding your emotions inside was the only way to survive at that time. It worked in that moment, but now has you feeling bottled up and distant in your relationship.
Maybe you came to believe that intimacy isn't actually something attainable. You believed this because the intimacy you longed for wasn't present in your relationship, so it was easier to believe that it isn't possible.
Do they above work? In a broken way yes. Are they healthy and do they lead to thriving in your marriage and life? No.
You see, fixing my blinds requires one thing that hasn't been present. Intentionality... I need to intentionally create some space and time to go pick up the blinds.
I could wish that they would just magically show up at my door. I could hope that I might remember when I'm out picking up other items, but the reality is, that's more than likely not going to happen (given that they've been broken for a few months that's a pretty clear conclusion).
It's the same with our relationships. We can hope that intimacy just magically clicks one day or that we learn how to better communicate or share our emotions. However, the likelihood of that is probably pretty low. What we need is... Intentionality... We need to create a space and time to look at moving those practices that might have been the best we could do or allowed us to survive at that moment and tend to them so that we can move towards practices that lead towards greater connection, belonging, and intimacy.
That's why we are hosting the Thrive Marriage Experience. You need that space (whether you know it or not) to sit and be tended to, to laugh, cry, smile, grieve, celebrate, and spend time attuning to what God has for your marriage and putting on the shelf the things that aren't moving your marriage towards God and one another.
Intentionality takes work... It takes signing up for the Marriage Experience. It takes saying that you are done just hoping that belonging, connection, and intimacy are just going to happen, but instead entering into the beautiful space that will be a weekend of intentionality towards your spouse.
So what do you say? I'd say sign up now at www.thrivemarriageweekend.com.
Now time to go get some blinds!